Good Advice

My grandma: Always use a butter knife.

My dentist: Floss.

My father: All you have to do is one thing and eventually everything will be done.

My grandpa: Two lovers can find room on the edge of a knife.

My mother, curtsey of my grandmother: Practice your wiles.

My father: It’s better to be a Harvard MBA than marry one.

My mother: It’s good to get married because then you’ll know it makes no difference.

My friend: A lady always swallows.

My grandma: Love is hard.

My sister: Dating is affordable.

My mother: Everyone should be allowed to throw away their first born because that’s

the one you screw up.

My sister: Never buy cocaine, but never turn it down.

My mother: Never Tell.

My friend: If you can’t be smart, be careful.

My father: If it flies, floats or fucks, rent it.